Man VS Ceiling

March 9, 2023

A friend of mine has been telling me how his wife has been asking for a ceiling on their lower deck to protect their outdoor furniture. Understand that there is a deck above but there are spaces between the planks that let water through. There is a waterproof box beside the furniture to store the pillows, but she doesn’t want to have to worry about hiding them in a storm. This woman has decided she needs a ceiling and is relentless in her pursuit. If he wants peace, this man is eventually going to have to provide her with a ceiling.

If he wants peace, this man is eventually going to have to provide her with a ceiling.

When I thought about this I could see all the similarities between a man and a ceiling. Most women want a husband. Which is puzzling because if you think about it why would the modern-day woman even consider letting our muddy shoes in the house? Most women work today so they could get along without us financially. If they work and are married to an oaf, she is still doing all the housework and child care while he scratches and watches sports. So the Creator must have put a chromosome in Eve that gives us this unexplainable job security. I think it is the ceiling gene. Why else would a woman want a hairy fart machine? A woman just craves a covering. It is a God-given hunger of the fairer sex. Now before you make signs and start protesting in front of my house let me explain.

Why else would a woman want a hairy fart machine?

A husband should be a ceiling (final barrier) between the woman (Family) and the storms of life. For a wife to feel secure a ceiling must always be there even if it is not raining. She can’t be worrying if he is going to show up for a storm. Besides, he must keep the bugs out. Those little demons are always trying to sneak in and pester the family. He also offers a layer of insulation to make the home more comfortable, quiet, and peaceful to promote a healthy environment. A ceiling is not there to draw attention to itself, it is supposed to complement everything else and do its job in humility. From its position above a good ceiling should have a watchful eye for potential problems it can shield the family from. A ceiling must hold itself together. If it falls apart it could come raining down on the ones it is there to protect. A good ceiling is strong but it does not flex its muscles. It is securely attached giving confidence not fear to those below.

A ceiling must hold itself together.

Without a good ceiling, the home is just not right. So guys we need to do a good job because we all know that a leaky ceiling has to repair and if you can’t repair it, you must replace it. Thank the good Lord for the ceiling gene that gives us a reason to hang around. We all need a place in this world.

Check out my book The Reluctant Bachelor on Amazon .

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